Some people have that particular skill of being charismatic. When they walk into a room, everyone stops and listens.

When I think of a charismatic person, Oprah Winfrey comes to mind. I am intrigued with how Oprah can quickly connect with her guests, and become completely engaged. She has an amazing ability to read people’s emotions.

Being charismatic is very appealing. I believe it is a learned skill focused on;

  • how we interact with others
  • listening to what is being said, and not being said
  • what we do and not what we say
  • building and then maintaining relationships
  • reading social clues then adapting to them
  • being friendly and a nice person

I have tried a few strategies to increase and develop my charisma. It’s not easy and it can be tiring, however with practice, it is incredible the response you get from friends.

Here are some things to try next time you catch up with a friend.

Listen intently then ask questions

It can be tempting to talk non-stop or ‘switch off’ and daydream. However, it’s important to stop yourself. Listen and acknowledge you understand by nodding and smiling. It is essential to listen to the entire conversation, and not selectively listen.

Ask questions, which will dive deeper into the conversation. You may learn something! Think of questions starting with Why, What, Who, How.

I work hard to listen and not daydream. I do this by asking questions relating to the conversation. This shows I’m interested and it flips the conversation so that the other person becomes the center of attention. It is amazing what you learn about a person.

Remove all distractions

To be present and focused, it is vital to remove all distractions, especially your mobile. There is nothing worse than having non-stop notifications beeping on your phone, as it is too tempting to check them. I keep my phone on silent, in my handbag. I have all messages and phone calls linked to my Fitbit. This way it is just a quick glance at the watch to see if it is an emergency.

Keep eye contact

During a conversation, it’s important to keep eye contact. Even if it feels uncomfortable. Focus on the corner of the person’s eyebrow, their glasses or eyelashes. Maintaining eye contact demonstrates you are focused and they have your full attention. This is an important communication skill to master.

Most people strive to be charismatic, and not many achieve it. However, with practice, this skill becomes easier. It’s all about building and then maintaining relationships, which are equal and rewarding. Focusing on what we do and not what we say is critical. Therefore, always being present, interested, listening and participating in the conversation will make you the charismatic person, everyone longs to be.